For me, Fridays arrive like a reward at the end of a busy week. I work for a company that values its employees in more than just words. It instituted a 4-day work week some time ago and I’m here for it. My Fridays bring a sense of relief at the end of a week full of writing and editing and doing all the other things one does in a busy consulting firm. They act as a little pause between work and the official start of the weekend. I appreciate the slower pace of my Fridays, the opportunity to write a Friday Feels post, and the chance to then switch my brain off for a while.
Yet, each one brings with it a subtle reminder: time is moving quickly. Since I’ve been writing Friday Feels posts Fridays seem to arrive faster and faster, not because they actually do of course, but because I’m marking the time, taking notice of it.
This Friday, November 29, 2024, is a particularly poignant day to be marking time.
My parents were married on this day in 1958 – 66 years ago. Debbie and I were eating breakfast at Mum’s dining table this morning when Mum pointed to the crystal bowl in the centre of the table, “that’s been in the family 66 years today”. It was a wedding gift that she’s carried with her all these years, through all the different houses and states she’s lived in.
The crystal bowl hasn’t aged in the way the rest of us have, but it serves as a reminder of the passing of time. Dad’s passing in 2018 meant that they didn’t quite make their 60th wedding anniversary, but the date is firmly fixed in our minds anyway.
The date will also have other significance for us now. Today, November 29, 2024 we celebrate the life of my uncle, Mum’s younger (only) brother who passed away last week. We’ll gather today, family and friends, to share stories and memories of Uncle Roy. We’ll laugh and cry and comfort each other as we say farewell.
So that’s my Friday Feels for another week. Not the usual format, but it’s not a usual Friday.
Mum and Dad’s wedding day – November 29, 1958My baptism in June 1962. Uncle Roy, my godfather, is at the back Roy Frederick Humphries, 1941-2024
I missed last week’s Friday Feels post. The reason is one of the things that made me happy – read on to find out more.
Friday Feels is a (seemingly) regular blog post I started writing about three months ago. Debbie, my sister, writes the occasional Fridays Feels post and I thought I’d copy her lead.
There are three questions each week, mostly the same, and then an F-word. I think I’m supposed to write only brief responses to each question, but struggle to do that. Someone famous once apologised for writing a long letter “because they didn’t have time to write a short one”. Even though I could take the whole day to write a blog post, I try not to. Especially on days like today where it’s warm – 27C – and the pool is calling!
The three questions I answer each week are:
1. What made me happy this week?
2. What’s been challenging about the week?
3. What’s caught my attention on social media this week?
Rather than a F-word this week, I’ve decided to write about a C-word instead.
First, the questions.
Cancer – that’s a C-word. And it’s related to what made me happy this week. On Friday last week, rather than writing a blog post, I met with my medical oncologist for my FINAL oncology appointment. I’ve had annual check ups with my breast surgeon, my radio oncologist and my medical oncologist since 2019 and last Friday was the last appointment. Five years of low-down terror in the back of my mind … and now it’s all done. I have to admit to being much more emotional than I imagined, and spent some time in a quiet corner of a hospital corridor pulling myself together. But I’m happy that my appointments are done and that the five years is now officially over and closed off in my mind.
COVID – that’s a C-word and it’s related to what’s been challenging about this week. Tim didn’t feel too well last Friday and did a COVID test. Negative. Big relief. Saturday he felt even worse. Mid-afternoon I found him in bed shivering even though it was a really hot day. I took his temperature – 41.5C. That’s a bit warm. I had thought he didn’t want to do gardening with Chase and I, but apparently he was ill. Sunday he did a test. Positive. He tested positive as recently as yesterday. He’s slowly getting better. I’ve been working from home all week and because of the design of our house we’ve been able to keep away from each other and so he hasn’t passed it to me. But it’s been a big week.
Another reason it’s been a challenging week is because my uncle – Mum’s brother – passed away on Wednesday evening. He was a great storyteller and had a wealth of them to share – from years in the Navy to his more recent travels. He was also a great reader and that made discussions always interesting. He’d share books and recommend others and wasn’t shy about telling you why a book was unreadable! Wifedom, for instance, was not one of his favourites! Mum has lived around the corner from him for the last four years and minutes after she’d ring him to invite him round for morning tea, he’d be at the front door, zooming up the steep hill fearlessly on his mobility scooter. One thing we always chuckled about, was that even though they were both in their 80s, she’s still such a big sister! He was a well-read, well-travelled man, but oh golly … when his big sister said to do something, he’d do it! It seems that’s one thing that never changes in family relationships. You’ll be missed, Uncle Roy.
Characters – that’s a C-word. Have you heard of Paloma Diamond? I hadn’t either till just last week – possibly because I don’t have TikTok. But she popped up on my Instagram feed last week and she’s become a bit of regular for me now. The actor behind the character, Julian Sewell, has amassed a huge following – and I’m just jumping on board. Also, if you’re into period drama, check out his ‘Aunt Ingrid and Evelyn’ characters.
Screenshot from Julian Sewell’s Instagram account
Link to Julian Sewell’s Instagram, just in case you’re interested.
Well, that’s it from me for another week. I’m pretty pleased with myself for not mentioning the other C-word.
Christmas!
Apparently it’s only 30-something days away. Who’s getting excited?
As it’s Friday, it’s time for another Friday Feels post. When I started writing these posts I wasn’t planning on doing more than one, and now I find I’ve written a post every Friday for the past nine weeks.
I answer roughly the same questions each week and it’s always interesting to read back over my responses (mostly so that I don’t repeat myself) but also to refresh myself on what’s been happening in the/my world.
The three questions each week are:
What’s made me happy this week?
What’s caused me some discomfort?
What have I re-started doing that I haven’t done in ages?
My F-word for this week is fazed, which I’ve sneakily used somewhere in this post.
What made me happy this week was my friend Airdre coming to visit. The last time we tried to organise a catch-up her grandson thoughtfully gave her his cold and so she wasn’t able to make it, but today, despite a lingering cough, she arrived for a chat and a laugh and a delicious lunch at a local cafe (3 Little Pigs – we can both highly recommend the zucchini fritters). Airdre and I co-edited the recently published Enacting a Pedagogy of Kindness: A guide for practitioners in higher education (available now online). If you’ve read it, we’d love a review. A kind one, of course!
We talked about writing and editing and reviewing and about how being direct is much maligned and how we both don’t do small talk and the importance of acknowledging the good bits in a piece of work and tense and tone and voice. Airdre and I have another connection – not just our writing one. I discovered earlier this year that the house Airdre used to live in, in northern NSW, was the very same house that my great-grandparents had lived in 90 years before. I wrote about it here. So a lovely morning with Airdre has made me happy this week.
What caused me some discomfort this week was the result in the US election. I won’t say any more about it, but it discomforted me. You could say, it fazed me.
What I’ve re-started doing that I haven’t done in ages, is digital drawing. In mid-2022 I started drawing using Procreate, an iPad app. It’s a very powerful tool and I found some great tutorials to follow along with as I learnt how to use the program and started to develop my skills. Back then I was in the retirement phase of my life and had loads of time to learn. Since moving on from retirement – back to full-time work – I have had way less time to do any drawing and I realised recently that I miss it. I came across more tutorials through the week and have decided to give them a go and see what I can learn and create. I need to emphasise that I have never been someone who draws and I have zero skills. But I enjoy learning and trying new things and so I gave it a go.
One of my ‘drawings’ from mid-2022 – drawn using Procreate
That’s it from me for another week. Next Friday I have my final oncology appointment. It’s the final thing in my cancer ‘journey’ (hate that term but can’t think of another one) and I am very much looking forward to that particular journey being well and truly over! I will probably pass on the Friday Feels post next week – just know my Friday will feel pretty darn good!!
I know. I don’t know where the year has gone either. One minute you’re waking up on New Year’s Day and then next minute it’s November.
It’s one of the good things about writing blog posts – or keeping a diary; you can go back and see that the year hasn’t whizzed by in a flash, and that you have actually done things throughout the year, and March did happen, as did a whole pile of other things. The same could be said of your life though, which is one reason for cramming a lot in: there’s lots to ruminate over, reflect on and remember, and when you do that, you feel the length of months and years and time spreads out, expands, slows down a tad.
But that’s enough philosophising for now. Onto the regular three Friday questions and an F-word.
The questions are:
What made me happy this week?
What town did I most enjoy this week?
Who came back to Australia this week?
And my F-word? Future
But first to the questions.
What made me happy this week? I was at the International terminal earlier in the week, and it was so lovely to watch the interactions between those arriving and those who were anxiously waiting for them. The grandfather beaming at the sight of his tiny granddaughter; the mother weeping at the sight of her grown son; the sons, daughters, grandchildren, second cousins twice removed who each had a bunch of flowers and excitedly presented them to the family patriach as he tried to embrace every crying member of his family at once; the pregnant, exhausted mother, her trolley piled high with bags and car seats, watching carefully as her eldest pushed the soon-to-be middle child in a stroller, looking for a familiar face in the crowd to relieve her of some of her burdens; the young couple meeting, perhaps for the first time (he had a bunch of flowers in what could have been a pre-arranged signal), posing for photos at all points of the arrivals hall. It really was a Love Actually moment, and that made me happy.
2. What town did I most enjoy this week? Weird question Sharon! I know, but it was a lovely day on Sunday and we went to Kyneton and decided to wander along Piper Street. Kyneton is a strange town in a way. It seems to have three distinct shopping areas, with Piper Street being the most interesting. The buildings are old, the shops are diverse, the cafes are interesting, and the people are lovely. I was told at least four times that the dress I was wearing was some variation of “lovely”. (Just for context, I think it’s the most hideous thing I’ve ever owned.) We had a lovely lunch at Home Grown on Piper – Tim said it was the best Reuben he’s ever had. And then we wandered, and bought things, and chatted with people in shops, and spent ages and $$ in The Stockroom. It was really delightful.
3. Who came back to Australia this week? Very specific question Sharon! I know, but apart from all the other people who came (back) to Australia this week, the one I know best is Mum. She’s been away for about 6 weeks, cruising on rivers in Portugal, visiting Salamanca in Spain, spending some time in London, a little village near Colchester, and catching up with family in the west country (think Bristol, Cheddar, Bath). I hope when I’m 86 I’ll still be travelling the world like that.
Mum arriving back in Australia
My F-word for the week? Future. More specifically, THE future. I’ve just finished reading Tim Winton’s latest release, titled Juice, and it’s a sobering look at the future. It’s not a happy book it has to be said, but it sure does make you think. This is a book set far into the future – Winton said in an interview that it’s about 300 years into the future – and it’s a warning that if we don’t do something now, we’ll be leaving future generations in a world of pain.
One bit really got me: The main character – I don’t think we know his name – is telling stories of his early years, when he was 16 years old. His world is full of ash and heat so unbearable they have to cover themselves completely and live way underground in the summers. Think a Mad Max kind of landscape. He meets some people who show him images and videos from our time – from now, our present, what they call “the Dirty World”. He says, “We believed that the world was the way it was. That it did what it did. In the way it always would. Because that’s how things were. This idea that our travails were the result of others’ actions had never occured to me. … To be told that my trials were not random accidents but deliberate acts undertaken with the knowledge of their consquences? … It was infuriating to the point of derangement.”
Deliberate acts – the burning of coal and gas to generate juice so that the oligarchs maintain their power.
Now that’s a sobering thought.
If you’re into apocalytic fiction that has more than a tinge of reality, then this is a fabulous read. I finished it very early one morning through the week and cried myself back to sleep.
That’s it for me for another Friday. I’ll see you next week.
Musings from the cold 